Women – of course I can’t truly get you – I’m a guy. Just ask my lovely wife. BUT – I can help you figure out what might be going on with your particular guy. Gender differences are very important but each couple’s situation needs to be considered on its own unique terms.

The number one goal expressed by women (and most men) in conflict is to “improve communication.”

It is crucial to establish real dialogue, learn better skills, and break destructive patterns.

These things are possible. However, conflict, alienation, and frustration are usually NOT just about communication styles. It’s critical to try to understand fundamental beliefs, expectations and aspirations held by each of you.

Common questions from women:

• Why doesn’t he really listen?
• What does it take to get a fair amount of help with house and kids?
• Why can’t he share?
• Why is he so condescending?
• Why is he more excited about his new deer rifle (truck, Xbox, software update…) than about me?
• How could he have been unfaithful (or why do I think about the possibility of being unfaithful)?
• How can I compete with or deal with addictions?

These are complicated issues. I can help. Except in extreme cases, both parties have an important role in repair and improvement- we always need to look at them, ourselves, and the two of us together. See also Men Understanding Women. You can start by just coming in to talk about it.